I love the inner light that glows from this shared spiritual practice. It’s comforting and reassuring, like the blue flame of the pilot light in my furnace. When I see it, I know my furnace is working and that I will be safe and warm.
I often associate being present with positive experiences such as cultivating joy and happiness, or sending and receiving kindness and compassion. But I am increasingly aware of the value of this practice in helping us deal with difficult sensations or emotions. Through the practice, we learn not only how to develop and store tools in our toolboxes, but also how and when to apply those tools so that we might more wisely choose how to act or react.
The other day I had come downstairs to make my morning coffee. I grabbed my smart phone to check messages and I noticed the date: February 11. It was my mom’s birthday. I felt an immediate rush of pain and I started to slam my heartgate closed to protect myself from the onslaught. It’s been six years since Mom died and while I felt healthy in my grieving, the date had snuck up on me and I wasn’t prepared for the wave of grief that hit.
As I became aware of my body, investigated the sensation with kindness and curiosity, I realized I wanted to leave my heart open, to stay with this emotion and to feel it. I trusted my healthy heart and allowed the memories to flow. I felt my heart expand and absorb the pain. I felt Mom, smiled through my tears and loved her and myself more in that moment.
It is indeed big enough to hold it all.
Carol J.