This week our sangha is practicing with the theme of Mindfulness of Emotions. I wanted to share my experience of mindfulness of emotions, particularly the practice of handling strong or painful emotions. When I first started practicing mindfulness meditation, I came across the instructions for how to handle painful emotions, mainly to remain focused on the experience in the body and not to get carried away by thinking. I would read these instructions in dharma books over and over again, and while I was reading, I would think, “Oh, of course, it sounds so easy and straightforward. Its common sense.”
However, my experience of painful emotions in the moment they were present was anything but easy and straightforward. Over and over again, I found it so difficult to practice dwelling in the body. Instead, I would continue thinking and feeding the emotions. The thinking mind would continue with the story or interpretation: “What is this? Where did it come from? What’s going to happen? What’s the cause of this? Maybe I’m feeling this way because…” and so on. If I could use an excuse, I would say that these habits of thinking were perhaps due to my training in formal education that encouraged my critical thinking and analyzing skills to solve problems. Needless to say, this thinking and continuing with the story would only aggravate the experience of the emotion.
It took quite a long time to learn how to stay grounded in the body in the present moment, not carried away by beliefs and interpretations about the past, or storylines or expectations about what’s going to happen in the future. When I finally did learn this skill to dwell in the body and let go of the story, I found it was an incredibly useful lesson. I distinctly remember thinking, “Wow! That sure took me a long time to learn that lesson. I must have read those instructions an emberassingly large number of times before I finally learned what it was telling me to do.” I hope by writing this I can encourage others to learn from my mistakes and take up the practice of skillfully handling painful emotions.
I would like to end with a metaphor from Thich Nhat Hanh of a tree during a storm:
We are like a tree during a storm. If you look at the top of a tree, you may have the impression that the tree can be blown away or that the branches can be broken anytime, but if you direct your attention to the trunk of the tree and become aware that the tree is deeply rooted in the soil, then you see the solidity of the tree. The mind is the top of the tree, so don’t dwell there; bring your mind down to the trunk. The abdomen is the trunk, so stick to it, practice mindful, deep breathing, and after that the emotion will pass. When you have survived one emotion, you know that next time a strong emotion arises, you will survive again. But don’t wait for the next strong emotion to practice. It is important that you practice deep, mindful breathing every day.
– Thich Nhat Hanh, Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children
With metta,
Andrea D