These past days of practice have been equal measures of frustration, confusion, and intention.
I think (hope, wish) that my intention is correct – to be open to the opportunity / experience that may arise – whatever that may be. Maybe it’s just not-knowing-what-I-don’t-know. But, I’m told perseverance is a virtue… and so, as Stuart Davis once tweeted, I try to “Stray the course” and maybe “Fall Awake“.
And while trying, I very much rely on received wisdom. Dian Reid, in her writings on how “To Live Vicariously Through Yourself”, relates a great story about encouraging action: “I asked … what “taking inspired action” means … and one of the responses shared with me went like this:
“one deep breath. mix 1 part wisdom + 1 part intuition + 1 part emotion + 1 part courage + 1 part faith + 1 part balance. stir gently. allow to simmer. another deep breath. watch. wait patiently. listen intently. see what options bubble to the surface. use your gift of CHOICE. pick up one foot high in the air with both hands. l-e-a-p. and trust that the net will appear.”
~ The Little Yogini That Could
<http://authenticrealities.com/2010/07/live-vicariously-through-yourself/>
The confusion and frustration that are mine, are (I assume), because I don’t think I am making much progress. At least, sitting has become my daily routine – and is hopefully not just a routine. Seth Godin says it as well as anyone:
“There’s a fundamental difference between the things you do every day, every single day, and the things you do only when the spirit moves you.
One difference is that once you’ve committed to doing something daily, you find that the spirit moves you, daily.”~ <http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2014/12/daily.html>
And as an apt a description as I’ve read on what I may come to experience is, that
“Such meditative understanding is experiential rather than intellectual, therapeutic rather than dogmatic, liberating rather than merely convincing.”
~Stephen Batchelor, Meditation (Tricycle)