As I closed yesterday with a 20 minute sit, I was keenly aware that my mind was everywhere. And I tried so hard to concentrate on the breath, but seemingly to no avail. Planning a trip, stuff to do for work, achy knee, itchy leg, what to write? Anything but the breath. It was a struggle.
I was reminded of Sandra Bullock’s character in Miss Congeniality, when she’s being coached how to glide. “Hey, I’m gliding here!”
It was like I was shouting to my mind: “Hey, I’m breathing here!”
This morning, as I kicked off the day with a 10 minute sit, I remembered Sharon’s words from the breath meditation:
There’s my friend! There’s the breath!
Remembering that my breath is my friend made such a difference. My mind was still crowded with the same thoughts and feelings, but returning to my breath wasn’t the same struggle. The thoughts were all trying to elbow in, but I knew my friend is near. I felt the warmth for a dear friend, and all those pushy thoughts got treated kindly. What a difference.
I have heard message about meditation and letting go of distractions for years. After all, mediation has been around for centuries, in every type of tradition. But I ignored it. For me, it fell into the category of miracle diets and celebrity gossip – something I read about when I was in line at the checkout, but then promptly dismissed as I carried on with daily busyness.
The stress of a life full of chasing distractions caught up with me. That’s what led me to MBSR last year. That what “kicked open the door” for me. “[We] meet someone who has a big vision of life, someone we admire who embodies values we cherish. Life seems to hold more possibilities.”
What I loved about MBSR, and the message that’s in Real Happiness, is this: There is no need to hate ourselves for the things that make us human – that we get distracted and busy and impatient.
Instead, all we are asked is “to be willing to experiment with our time and attention, connecting more fully with our life as it happens.”
There is a gentleness in this practice that we don’t often hear in our day-to-day life. We’re regularly bombarded with messages to be thinner, richer, faster, smarter, and so on. If we’re not, we’re berated – mostly by our own inner critic.
But here… we concentrate on the breath. Just this breath. And if we get distracted, that’s okay. “We gently acknowledge and release distractions, and gently forgive ourselves for having wandered. With great kindness to ourselves, we once more return our attention to the breath.”
For me, this past year has been a time of experimenting and exploring meditation and mindfulness. A time of reconnecting with myself and those around me. Discovering that it’s not just me who feels fragmented. I have found a community that is supportive in this exploration.
On day 6 of this challenge, I’m grateful for this opportunity to be with my friend, the breath, and to share this exploration with you.
— Andrea G